Thanks for being a no-show all this while. NOT. And don't you dare show up in full blast when Ramadan's here and we can only have a look at those gelato ice-cream lining up in all imaginable flavors behind the counter.
Love,
Me.
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Dear all Muslim who's outraged at the media treatment to us relating to the reporting of Norway's shooting and bombing,
I can understand how you feel, I feel it too. 82 teenagers were killed point blank and their only crime is taking a stand for what they believe in; a peaceful and tolerant country who treats everyone with equality. To understand the magnitude of this crime, I suggest you count from 1 up to 82. I bet you wouldn't even do it because it'll take that long, right? Right. So it is a great loss. So get over yourself and stop being such a diva. Nak komplen boleh, tapi jangan over sangat that it borders to insensitivity. Tak payah nak lebih-lebih kat fesbuk sampai mencarut-carut sangat la.
Sincerely,
Me.
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Dear one piece of certificate that I've spend the past years of my life on,
You better be fucking worth it.
Eternally yours,
Me.
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Dear Amy Winehouse,
You are beautiful and wonderful. At long last, you finally walked away from your good-for-nothing man Blake. But that also means walking away from your own life. I wish it could have ended differently. Sometimes love alone is not enough to make up for all the things he put you through; drugs and heartaches and everything. You definitely deserved better. RIP.
Your big fan,
Me.
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Dear coffee,
If I could discover a substitute for you, one that tastes the same but does not stain the teeth I think I would be richer beyond man's imagination. Mark Zuckerberg can kiss my pretty ass.
Addicted to you,
Me.
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