Maysaa Rip-Off

Why would people want to blatantly copycat someone's (who is apparently super famous) design and re-name that thing and sell it as their own? Okla let me be more straight-forward. Hana Tajimain her recent post has called out a few blog/FB-shops (all of them based in Malaysia) which sold the rip-off version of her famous snood collection. They even made it in different colors and prints too instead of the all-black version from Maysaa. Talk about being creative.

People, are you stoo serious? Dah la Hana Tajima tu femes and banyak contact kat Malaysia. Haven't it occurred to you that sooner or later you are going to get your copycat ass noticed? Maybe it's not wrong per se, if Hana has not acquired any patent on her snood design. If that is the case, other than calling these people out in her official page that thousands of her loyal fans read, that is as far as it could get. No lawsuit or anything of that sort could ensue.

You are in it for the cash, it's business, that I understand, but really? It's not ethical.

Been reading books on business and although I am learning a lot of useful things from them, these books don't teach you about ethical codes and such. That you have to navigate using your own moral compass and I surely hope I won't loose them.

Fact is, people judge other people.

Don't be quick to believe that you are different from others. If your brain capacity is enough to allow you to form your own opinion, chances are you'll have your own set of ingrained perception of things around you.

If you are a non-believer, you'll have a certain perception on those who believe.

If you believe in the stand of one political party, it'll inevitably lead you to form your opinion on the opposition party.

If you believe in marriage, you will see those who dismiss the notion of marriage in a certain light.

If you have no qualms of saying exactly how you feel at the cost of someone else's feeling getting hurt, you'll view those who go out of their way to take care of other people's feeling differently.

People who listen to only 'cool' indie music will think those that listen to mainstream music are extremely uncool.

Ada orang pakai tudung yang judge orang tak pakai tudung.

Orang tak pakai tudung pulak reason yang at least depa tak mengata orang.

Macam-macam.

I think it all boils down to our basic need to find a common ground with another human being. When we find out that the ground seems so far apart, we tend to reason why the other person is different from us. We dissect him, his past, just to arrive to a reason on why we are different. During this process, we judge.

Point is, we all judge. You do it, I do it, we all do. It is almost instinctive.

What makes us different is how we deal with our judgements. Do we let them dictate what we feel towards something for forever, or do we challenge ourselves to see past the veil of those initial judgements?

Blood Pumping Battle with Tough Biker Guy

It was at the zoo in Koeln, one that I've been wanting to visit for the longest time. We were standing outside the pen that houses giraffes, looking at a mechanism which is supposed to mimic the working of a giraffe's heart.

Did you know that, in order for the blood to reach the head, a giraffe's heart has to pump gallons of blood 2 meters along the neck upwards? And that the average weight of a giraffe's heart is 12 kg? Haa. Itu faedahnya pergi zoo.

So this sort of simple machine that we were looking at consists of a 2-meter cylinder, which is supposed to represent the length of a giraffe's neck, and a hand pump. The working is pretty simple. Using our hands, we have to push the water through the cylinder all the way to the top, just so we could feel for ourselves the pressure that a giraffe's heart exerts while pumping all those blood.

My initial reaction was, "Well, that couldn't be too hard right?" Spitting on each of my palm and rubbing them together (the spitting part was only play-pretend, it'd be too gross otherwise!), I took on the pump and began to give it my best. Grrrr. Apparently, it could be too hard! I only grazed the 1 meter mark! Dammit.

By that time, perhaps thanks to me for making quite a drama over it, an audience had gathered around this giraffe-neck-pump-thing. The 'audience' was made up of two guys (audience la sangat); one is a guy our age and another older guy, perhaps in his 40s, with tattoos and lots of piercings, complete with a bandana tied around his head and a leather jacket. He looks like a guy you don't want to mess around with. Textbook biker type.

Terfikir jugak, orang macam ni pon teringin pergi zoo? Hehe.

Encik Boyfriend, macam biasa la, tengah syok gelak kat girlfriend sedang berusaha bersungguh-sungguh nak tolong pump darah untuk giraffe tu. Tapi fail.

"Nah, your turn," I said, which was met with agreement by these two guys. They cheered him on to take the pump and show me how it's done. Yeah, brotherhood. Whatever.

The selfish part of me so wanted him to fail, just so we could both agree that it was actually really hard, not that his girlfriend is a wuss.

He fared much better than me, but it still wasn't enough. His best try still left the water a quarter of meter away from the giraffe's head.

The biker guy turned out to be quite a jerk, going from cheering to mocking, saying things like, kalau translate bahasa Melayu macam ni la : Ek eleh, takat tu ja ko boleh Mat? Appara..buat malu ja..

What a jerk!

By now the selfish part of me was totally taken over by the urge to shove his biker's boots into his mouth, without taking the boots off of his feet first. I so want Encik Fudye to pump the bloody water straight to the sky just to show the guy 'how it's done'. I could tell Encik Fudye was already tired even though I knew he didn't want to give up. By now other people were joining to try that thing, we figured we better not hog the pump and bagi can pulak kat orang lain. So we walked away. With our bruised ego.

The jerk was quite thrilled to take over the pump but we didn't stay to watch. Nanti dia buat senang kacang pulak pastu nak riak kat kitorang. Cit...

As we were walking away, I turned around to catch a glimpse, lo and behold, he was having trouble! He kept trying but the water kept hovering between 1 and 1.5 meter mark! Hek eleh brader, tadi bising macam tough sangat kan..

Sensing that we were still watching, which we were, he turned around, smiled at us and shouted, "Man, you are strong! Lady, you have a strong man right there." At least he was man enough to admit that.

Encik Fudye, as expected, couldn't stop feeling smug and repeating the phrase 'starker Mann' for the rest of the day..and the rest of the week... Le SIGH. -.-''

Later that day, it only struck me that the biker guy actually did only slightly better than me, which must mean that I'm pretty strong and how come he didn't acknowledge that? Sexist pig!

Wrong Side of The Bed

Dear Summer,

Thanks for being a no-show all this while. NOT. And don't you dare show up in full blast when Ramadan's here and we can only have a look at those gelato ice-cream lining up in all imaginable flavors behind the counter.

Love,

Me.

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Dear all Muslim who's outraged at the media treatment to us relating to the reporting of Norway's shooting and bombing,

I can understand how you feel, I feel it too. 82 teenagers were killed point blank and their only crime is taking a stand for what they believe in; a peaceful and tolerant country who treats everyone with equality. To understand the magnitude of this crime, I suggest you count from 1 up to 82. I bet you wouldn't even do it because it'll take that long, right? Right. So it is a great loss. So get over yourself and stop being such a diva. Nak komplen boleh, tapi jangan over sangat that it borders to insensitivity. Tak payah nak lebih-lebih kat fesbuk sampai mencarut-carut sangat la.

Sincerely,

Me.

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Dear one piece of certificate that I've spend the past years of my life on,

You better be fucking worth it.

Eternally yours,

Me.

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Dear Amy Winehouse,

You are beautiful and wonderful. At long last, you finally walked away from your good-for-nothing man Blake. But that also means walking away from your own life. I wish it could have ended differently. Sometimes love alone is not enough to make up for all the things he put you through; drugs and heartaches and everything. You definitely deserved better. RIP.

Your big fan,

Me.

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Dear coffee,

If I could discover a substitute for you, one that tastes the same but does not stain the teeth I think I would be richer beyond man's imagination. Mark Zuckerberg can kiss my pretty ass.

Addicted to you,

Me.

Crest Whitestrips

One of the things I've been trying to fix for quite some time now is the discoloration of my teeth. Being a coffee addict for the past recent years has not helped my situation obviously.

I've been trying the products you can find in drugstores; toothpaste, whitener, etc. They don't do shit except give you false hope and burn your money.

I've talked to a dentist, and she talked me out of it, saying that people are just born with different natural teeth color and my yellowness is not so severe. What does she know anyway.

Recently I came across this product (thanks to Tasa ;p) and after researching and finding a lot of positive feedback, I've decided to give it a try.

It's really affordable. I didn't buy the whole package, just bought 7 strips for 9Euros. If I'm satisfied with the result, I'll buy me some more and bleach my teeth till they are Hollywood fake. Ah ha ha.

It's basically just strips with bleach on it that you paste on your teeth and leave on for like 20 minutes. Apparently the beach is quite strong, as a vlogger said on YouTube, when she accidentally got the residue on her pants, the color of her pants on that spot ran down. Boyfriend's remark : Haa, nanti umur tak sampai 30 gigi dah reput. Oh well, if that happens (God forbid) he'll be the one paying for my new teeth implant. Yeah.

I'm willing to take the risk.

Today is day 1. I've taken a photograph of my teeth for today and will record the progress all through the 7 strips so that any change will be more visible. So we'll see. I think I'll start drinking my coffee with straw tomorrow morning.

Message of the day : SMILE

"Researchers found that the span of baseball players' smile on the baseball cards is proportional to the span of their life."

Takpala kalau tak boleh senyum pout sexy sultry macam Angelina Jolie atau Megan Fox. Lepas ni takmau control-control senyum dah. =D

The Evening Walk

The expression 'to wake up on the right side of the bed' will be more relevant to my life right now if 'the right side of the bed' part is changed to 'the clean, dry bed'. I can almost always tell that the day is going to go well if I didn't wet my bed the night before.

It's an embarrassing fact, I know. Some other old farts can't seem to control their bladder even they are awake, so I think I am better off.

You see, that thought always makes me feel better. But only for about a minute. Because what follows after that is the lingering fear if I would turn into one of those old farts some day.

Today I snapped at my son who called just to chat. *chuckles* He grew up with me so he knows me better to call me just to chat. I am never the chatty type in the first place. He just wants to check if I am still fit to live by myself or if it is time to send me away to the place where old, senile people live together and talk about the old days or play poker or sleep.

In the brochures that he brought me, the old people in the pictures are always smiling. I bet the ones that are always causing trouble with the nurses are sedated so that they will zonk out and smile all the time, never causing the nurses any headache again. Old grumpy man like me would be the first one to go. Until my mind fails me, no chance in the world I'm going to agree to being locked up in one of these places.

But if I were to be honest, the reason I won't leave my house is because of Jane. My dear lovely Jane. At 5 o'clock in the evening, she'll be waiting for me. That's my only motivation to get out of the house. Groceries are taken care of by the lady who is paid to come by twice a week to keep the house in order.

Just now I snapped at a young kid after I walked into him. Can you believe it? I walked into him and I yelled at him. He was shocked but he just kept his mouth shut. Nice kid. I didn't mean to shout at him in public like that, it's just that my knees are hurting more than ever nowadays and each step that I take feels like a battle.

It's a defense mechanism I rely on to these days, being snappy. I figure, if I am unbearable to be around with, then people won't stick around long enough to sympathize or pity my whole situation. Pity. I hate that more that anything. So what if I am alone and lonely because I can't get over the fact that my adorable Jane died 11 years ago. You young kids jumping from one partner to another are the ones that I should pity. For not knowing what it feels like to have found that someone who seems to be put on earth just for you, and you for her. What we had, have, is magic. What they portray in TV, about being in love, the sparks, the glitters, the butterflies and everything, what we have is better. It is the real deal. The closest thing to heaven for the living.

Today I bought my Jane sunflowers, that's her favorite. It makes perfect sense, that sunflower is Jane's favorite. She is just like a sunflower; always sunny, always bright, always cheerful, always facing the sun with stride. I wonder what in the world she ever sees in me. I guess I just got lucky.

Everyday I thank God that he didn't take me first and left Jane behind. I wouldn't want Jane to feel the pain that I feel now, to know that this level of loneliness exists. Though I bet Jane will handle it better than I am. She will be the adorable grandma that everyone wishes to be his own, instead of me, the grumpy old man that everyone can't bear to be around with but never dares to say anything to, even feels sad for, because he is old and gray.

I am at the entrance of the graveyard now. From here I can see my wife's resting place. My knees are shaking. But I am never stopping. As long as I am living and breathing, and until all four of my limbs fail me, I will keep making this walk every evening to see my Jane.

(Dedicated to the pakcik who inspired this story and almost made me cry yesterday, though I'm sure he is sweeter than the pakcik portrayed in this story.)

Sooner or Later.

To miss someone is the only pain that feels good.

Kisah Seorang Warga Bangladesh

Ok, it's 4.30 in the morning, I haven't slept yet and it's way past my bedtime, Ili, the friend me and Tash was hanging out with just went home, so here I am, eyes still wide open (no happy thingy today so it's pure adrenaline), brains running with scattered random thoughts, and with no prospect of dozing off to la-la land anytime soon, I might as well purge some of the noise from my brain right here.

Among other things, we were talking about racism and dealing with prejudice or discrimination. I've been here for almost 4 years, and though racism is still ingrained in some people in this part of the world, it is not widely displayed, at least not so from my own personal experience. With the exception of this one incident in which I have been at the receiving end of a full-blown verbal assault fueled by racism, but that is another story for another day.

Having been used to being a part of the majority Malay in Malaysia my whole life, to go and live someplace where I am in the minority group for a change, it does open my eyes to a whole new perspective. I've heard stories of Turks who are born and raised here in Germany but still feeling as if they are not allowed to be Germans. Maybe that's the same thing that Malaysian Chinese and Indian feel when they have to tick Cina and India in the race box when filling in forms.

Anyways, that's not the story for tonight. Ni nak cerita pasal kisah seorang cleaner Bangla (I wonder, is Bangla a derogatory remark to them?) time praktikal kat Malaysia tahun lepas.

Alkisahnya ada la seorang Bangla ni, kerja dia setiap pagi kena mop lantai kat bangunan Phileo Damansara 1. Biasala, sebagai seorang budak praktikal yang berhemah, mestila kena datang awal, datang time Bangla tu baru mula kerja kan. (Sebab datang awal tu sebenarnya sebab nak breakfast roti nan tandoori kat kedai macha yang awesome tu.)

Bangla ni muda lagi, tapi muka sedih ja, memang muka kesian la, aku pulak jenis cepat kesian (adus), jadi lagila bertambah-tambah kesian. Orang-orang kat Phileo ni pulak, bajet golongan korporat la kan, dekat Bangla ni nak pandang sebelah mata pon jangan harap, boleh si Bangla kasihan ni mop tak sempat nak lap lagi, tanpa rasa bersalah dia lalu selamba ja pijak lantai tu, habis kotorkan balik lantai dengan tapak kasut polo cap tiruan dia tu, Bangla kasihan tu nak kena mop balik..

Selalu aku nampak benda yang sama terjadi, dan bila situasi ni terjadi, lagi-lagi bertambah kasihan la muka Bangla kasihan ni, dan juga berkadar langsung dengan tahap kasihan aku kat dia...dia teringat kampung dia ka? Dia mesti tak sabar nak balik Bangladesh kan sebab kat sana orang tak dak nak treat dia macam Bangla...macam-macam la aku fikir.

So I thought the least I can do is to make an effort not to stomp on his ongoing work by making a detour which is longer from the normal route by about 6 steps at most. Bukan susah pon kan. Bila Bangla ni tengok aku, aku pon offer la dia senyuman sedikit, senyuman kan sedekah.

Tetapi aksi aku pada hari tersebut, yang sememangnya innocent dan tiada muslihat tersembunyi itu, nampaknya telah disalah fahami. Keesokan harinya, macam biasa la, aku nampak Bangla tu tengah mop. Dia nampak aku, dari jauh dia dah senyum. Ehhh. Sat. Pusing belakang. Takdak orang. So he must be smiling at me la? Me? Err. Ehehe (gelak kambing). Aku pon senyum la balik. Sedikit terpaksa senyuman tu.

Kalau nak naik pejabat aku, memang kena lalu laluan yang dia mop tu, kena pulak aku punya office tingkat 4, jadi kena tunggu lif turun plak dari tingkat 4 kat depan. Bangla tu mengambil kesempatan untuk memulakan small talk yang selalu dimulakan dengan, "sudah makan?" Oh mai. Lif dirasakan seperti bergerak dengan kepantasan kura-kura. "Siapa nama?" "Tinggal mana?" Bila aku jawab ada dekat-dekat sini, dia tanya plak dengan lebih spesifik jalan mana. Homai homai. Benda yang aku taknak jawab aku pon sengih-sengih awkward ja la. Bad move, bad move. Kalau jawab tak makan lagi, nanti dia ajak pergi makan. So sejak dari haritu aku akan jawab sudah makan ja.

Bermulalah episod hitam antara aku dengan Bangla tersebut. Ada satu hari tu, aku nampak tak dak orang tengah mop, tapi baldi beroda untuk isi mop tu ada kat tepi laluan, jadi Bangla tu mesti ada berdekatan, dan sebab tidak mahu mengambil risk, aku pon tak tunggu lif dan naik ja tangga sampai tingkat 4 beb. Sampai ja floor pejabat aku, fuhh, kepenatang, tapi lega, sebab tak terserempak dengan Bangla tu. Bukak pintu kecemasan nak masuk laluan ke pejabat aku tu, homai. Terkejut sekejap. Ada Bangla tu! Dia tengah kosongkan bekas sampah tepi lif tingkat aku. Hadoyaii. Tersilap bajet.

Sekali tu, tunggu lif datang dari underground floor, nak ke tingkat 4, bila lif terbukak kat ground floor tu, ternampak Bangla tu, hmm, awkward sebentar, takkan nak buat-buat patah balik takmau naik lif tu, kantoi la takmo naik lif dengan dia, so aku pon naik ja. Lepas tanya "sudah makan?" dia tanya aku soalan the bomb, "sudah kahwin?" Tersedak sekejap aku. Aku jawab sudah! Dia tanya lagi, "sudah ada anak?" What the...

Bila cerita kat supervisor dia gelak-gelakkan ja. Sapa suruh cek senyum kat Bangla tu? katanya. Niat sedekah ja kot!

Bila teringat balik lawak plak. Moral of the story; buat baik berpada-pada.

Haa ok, dah mengantuk, dah boleh pi tidoq. Nite!

Be My Getaway

Fly, be my getaway

Gotta getaway.

Perfect song for today's weather.

"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."
— Plato’s Symposium

This was stolen from a friend's tumblr and since I don't have tumblr, I'm reblogging it here. Concrete proof that I have been stalking her tumblr, which is nothing short of awesome, so with that last note, I hope she doesn't mind. ;p

White T-shirt Can Never Go Wrong

Was walking alone one day when I noticed two guys approaching from the end of the road. They were normal young adults, probably students from my university, nothing out of ordinary, but one of them particularly stood out from the other.

He was wearing a pretty fit white T-shirt paired with a faded blue jeans. A guy can never go wrong with this ensemble. Apart from what he was wearing, my eyes were drawn to ermm, his chest. The muscle in that area are nicely built, just the right size, not too bulgy, like a body builder which just scares the crap out of me sometimes.

You know how some people tend to be, they work out and when they achieve that ideal body by which they should have just maintained, they become obsessed and train even more harder and hence, the awkward overtly-muscled physique. I call it the T-Rex body. Think Mr Arnold. Shiver and cringe at the same time.

This guy, he was at the ideal stage. Lanky with the right hint of muscles underneath. Eye-candy for the day yayy. I didn't realize how long I've been having my eyes at his chest but when I looked up to his face, I noticed that he was looking straight at me.

Oops. Kantoi.

Peluh. -.-''

I looked away quickly and quickened my pace just to get the hell away from there as soon as possible. Reaksi tipikal orang bersalah.

Which got me to thinking, how can we label guys who ogle at pretty girls with packages as perverts, when here I am, totally normal, totally un-perverted (totally), got caught doing the same thing.

But having said that, I think there's a clear line between being innocently drawn to God's beautiful creation to being down-right leery and disrespectful. No self-respecting woman would take a guy saying straight up that he wants to eff her for having such a great body as a compliment. Ok let's view it from another perspective, think, if some random guy were to say that exact same thing about your own sister, your mother? Don't you feel like kicking that disrespectful ass repeatedly until he says sorry?

Come on, women of the world, let's not kill chivalry.

P.S : Bored. Lepas prepare sample kena tunggu 2 jam sebelum proses seterusnya. Lepas siap proses tu tunggu 2 jam lagi. Zzzz. Hence the excessive blog-updating.

Politik Lagi. Ok Ini Last. Moving On.

In every system in which its operation relies solely on human, there can't be 100% transparency, there can't ever be zero error; because we human, we err.

Whose to say that there is a line between nepotism and just being charitable towards our family? Kalau tak dahulukan keluarga, nanti orang cakap pulak, kera di hutan disusukan, anak dirumah dibiar kelaparan. (Of course, with a little bit of common sense, one can see the line between the above-mentioned two.)

Memang ketelusan yang tulus tu, masih kita tak capai kat Malaysia (sama jugak macam banyak negara lain, kecuali mungkin di negara-negara maju, transparency itu lebih sedikit), masalah rasuah, masalah pembohongan blablabla, tapi aku yakin masih ada orang-orang kerajaan kat Malaysia yang buat kerja dengan ikhlas. Kalau kita stereotype semua orang kerajaan corrupt, tak adil tu, macam fitnah pulak.

I wonder, if by the next election the ruling party were to change, who will be made PM? Anwar? Personally I don't trust him. Why? Instinct. I don't truly believe the dirt that people dig about him, I'd rather give him the benefit of a doubt simply because the two closest women in his life (wife and daughter) seems to be very strong, independent women who can think for themselves and I respect their decisions to stand by him. And even if all that 'rumors' about him turned out to be true, I don't condone the act of publicly humiliating a man along with his whole family. It's dirty politic. Kalau betul dia buat salah macam tu, just tarik jawatan dia and let him go. Tak payah nak drag his reputation and his family together with the sinking ship. Kesian anak-anak dan isteri dia. On another note, doesn't it struck you as a bit strange that amidst all the ongoing crisis, his family recently moved into a new home, which rumored to cost about RM 7 millions? Haih. Entahla.

Dammit woman, so what do you want? Sekejap itu sekejap ini, make up your mind.

I just want the government to clean up their act and repair what needs to be repaired in their system (the room for improvement is evidently very wide), and most importantly, as a young adult and a proud Malaysian, I want the government to treat us with respect, not like children who do not know better. Macam suruh media report benda yang tak betul sedangkan kita boleh tengok dalam internet. Bagila kebebasan kat media sikit. Takdak gunanya nak kepong informasi di zaman-zaman informasi ni. It'll just make an ass out of you and me.

But what do I know. I'm just a 24-year-old citizen with ideals without any credibility since it has been 3 years and I am still not a registered voter. Like my Mom said, my words are just words, like 'tin kosong'.

Thanks a lot, Mom.

Insomniac Maniac

I'm a sleep snob.

Meaning that I like to get my sleep just the right amount, an uninterrupted 8 hours, discounting the occasional 'membuta tanpa alarm' after late nights. Which is rare, considering that I stopped being fun after 12. But if I stayed up later than 12 and way into 2-3 in the morning, that's when the craziness and hyperdom hit.

Anyways, I read that one's sleep cycle differs from another. For instance, A might need 7 hours of sleep to function at his best the next day, whereas B might just need 5. To find your natural sleep cycle, it is suggested that you try to go to bed at the same time every night, and wake up without alarm for the next several days. If you do not have any sleeping disorder, chances are, you'll wake up naturally (and feeling fresh) after a certain fixed period of time. That is your sleep cycle.

Mine is 8 hours. And I always find myself waking up several minutes before my alarm goes off. Interrupt me in between the 8 hours, you'll be dealing with a crazy monster. Just ask my little brother. He indulges in picking a fight with the said monster.

Comes summer, because of the shorter night time, which results the prayer times between Maghrib and Subuh to be very close to each other, it is hard to have an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. Go to sleep after Maghrib at around 10.00 pm, you'll have to be awake before 3.00 am to catch Isyak prayer before Subuh starts.

Whenever I don't get my sleep right, I get cranky and my brain just seems to refuse to work at full speed, lingering at distractions after distractions for way too long. Maybe it's just an excuse for my brain and body to be a slacker. But as they say, your body is your temple so best that I listen and work with it instead of against it.

I did some snooping around on the net, and based on someone else's research, which is more historical rather and scientific, he found out that back in the Renaissance time, poets and intellectuals alike tend to break their sleep cycle into two shorter periods during the summer; 3-4 hours siestas followed by the 4-5 hours of sleep later at night. They found that this method allowed them to get the creative juice flowing, by working late into the night.

So let's try this for a couple of days; 17:30-20:30 followed by 03:30-07:30.

I could use some creative juice.

What You Do Will Come And Bite You In The Ass Later.

Wishing I'm that squirrel right now. Chilling like a rockstar!

I'm gonna bitch about the weather for a while. Lately, it's too hot to lay outside on the grass, cuddling up with a novel. Even a big jug of iced lemon tea is not going to make the heat tolerable.

When it's not too hot, meaning there's a little bit of cloud with just the right amount of sun, don't be fooled, because the weather has turned bipolar. Verging on a heavy downpour on minute, and in an instant turning back into the mild weather we all crave for.

I need a break. Not really, I've had a lot of breaks already this semester. I just want a break. I guess that's just my body, wanting to run away from facing things that I do not find interesting or appealing, like finishing this project.

My work in the lab so far has been very sloppy; you know like, not paying attention to the get the reading to the closest 0.1 milliliter. I'm not very good with tiny details like that; I like looking at the big picture. So much for wanting to be an engineer. This sloppiness is coming back to bite me in the ass right now, when the results of the 3-week process just turned into shit. Literally. Not much of a surprise since I am working with shit (a.k.a sludge) anyway, you know, that mucky gooey stuff you'll find in the sewer.

Tomorrow I'll pay the first price. By facing my professor and asking him to get me more sludge to work with. Start from the beginning.

No way. He manages to keep another one of his reckless promise once again. I guess two prayers are better than one, eh?

While I was getting restless sleeps (tipu, tidoq nyenyak ja) and freaking out about my exam, he promises me that my it is going to turn out just fine. He's willing to bet that everything will be OK and I should stop worrying. He freaking promises me that.

It's pretty annoying having someone oozing positiveness more than Miss Sunshine can handle when all you want to do is sulk and brood over the possibly spilt milk.

On one hand, I truly want to believe him and join his positive force. His promise can be seen as a prayer, and that's all that I'm left with now anyway.

On the other hand, I am angry that he is making a reckless promise like that, one that is not within his might to keep.

Please Herr Hess, put me out of the misery and get the results out already.

Jazz Hayat

That voice makes me want to learn this song. Though of course, mine won't be as superb as his. I wouldn't have fallen in love with the song if I had heard the original first instead of Hayat's. I'm trying to find Malay/Indon songs to learn to play on the guitar. Boring la asyik-asyik lagu mat salleh kan. And as of late, I'm spending more time with the guitar than with the stuff I'm supposed to get done. Rediscovering the spark of an old love at such a wrong timing.

SToday I will get some things done, promise.

Just So You Know

In case you are wondering or perhaps starting to have thoughts on, you know, surprising me with a proposal anytime soon, or well, any time some time in the future, I'm going to break it down for you so that you won't have to be miserable trying to find the perfect ring for me just to...fail gloriously.

Imagine, you popping up the question, and I was getting excited already, cue for romantic quartet playing as background music, I was holding back tears of happiness, and you open the red box (Tiffany blue would be fine too) to reveal the ring that would seal the deal and and and..I don't like it. It would be so awkward then because I have to pretend that I like it because you must have spent quite some time to look for the perfect ring before deciding for the one you are presenting to me right then, and the excited hopeful look on your face, waiting to hear my response....

I trust your taste, darling, but a ring is a very tricky thing, because you can't know which ring I like from the type of music I prefer, or from my fashion sense (if I actually have any). And this is something that I would have to wear for the rest of my life! You have to understand my concern. So let me make things easier.

First of all, my finger's a size 6. Precisely 16.5 mm in diameter.

Second of all, I don't like any giant protruding stone from my ring. I prefer a band like this.

Simple. Classy. Gorgeous. Timeless.

Oh and I prefer white gold with diamonds which are forevah. Unless, you can find something similar like the one below, then, I don't mind me some gold.

That's it. If you keep these in mind you will never go wrong. EVER.

Ahhh forget it. I'm coming with you when the time comes to pick the ring. I can live without any surprise proposal.

Bersih 3.0

Even if you do not usually read the news, I bet you will know about what's happening on the 9th of July. Because friends on Facebook are blowing their status updates about Bersih.

Some of them are pretty emotional while some of them backed their statements with logics and reasoning. There are however some of them that, well, I think they should think twice about reproducing.

To tell you the truth, I'm all for peace. Heck, I'm even inclined towards the government's side, that sometimes got me into heated debates with my uncles and father and even my Encik that he said my allegiance to the government is sometimes appalling. I'm telling you this, just so you don't write off my sentiment towards the current situation coming purely based fron my political choice.

Some of my friend (not really, just someone-I-kinda-know back in high school; funny how Facebook makes on us calling everyone we used to know at some point our friends) are focusing so much on the rally that she is missing the whole point of Bersih. It's not just about the rally. It's about wanting fair elections, without any ghost voters, without votes being rigged, so that the results are 100% representative of what the people wants.

Not in any way I am condoning the act of the rally itself if it is not backed up with a concrete cause. Nor do I wish that our generation adopt the Indonesian students style of protest, notorious for taking their disapproval towards the government to the streets, which includes burning stuff up and basically just creating havoc.

It might get tiring reading all the statuses (although you do have a choice, jangan bukak Faceboook!), but I think it's kinda healthy that our generation is caring more and more about the current development of our country. It's about time we start caring.

Well, that explains a whole lot of dog shit around Gelsen. Apparently dogs around here are more excited to get out of the house that instead of just peeing like doggy in the cartoon, they shit. ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Tak Mungkin Berpaling

Ok I have a confession to make.

I used to have a crush on this skinny guy with his trademark straight, shiny hair.

Zamani Slam!

Selain daripada the usual Hollywood-manufactured boyband crush (mine used to be Nsync's JC Chasez and bad boy Mark McGrath, lead singer of Sugar Ray), kalau Malaysia punya boyband, Zamani Slam la paling best sekali. Selain Yusry KRU. Tapi KRU tak aci, sebab dia macam westernized sikit.

Zaman darjah 2-3 dulu, balik sekolah, kalau lepak buat homework kat office Papa, kerani time tu Kak Yati akan pasang kaset Slam ulang-ulang sepanjang hari. Bila habis satu side, ulang balik, dari hujung ke hujung. Mana tak hafal semua lagu Slam!

Kalau naik kereta dengan ibu plak, kalau tak dengar channel Light & Easy, ibu suka pasang kaset artis-artis feveret dia; Fauziah Latiff, Dessy Ratnasari, Broery Marantika, Hetty Koes Endang, etc. Selain tu, ibu suka dengar Aris Ariwatan dengan Spring. Tak suka la Spring! Tapi dah feveret ibu, kereta dia yang drive, sabaq ja la.

Zaman tu memang tengah femes la band Melayu yang start dengan huruf 'S' ni. Spring, Sting, Screen, Scoin, Spoon, Spin, Sup... Dah la lagu semua mendayu-dayu, jiwang karat tak hengat, memang tak boleh belah la. Asyik nyanyi lagu putus cinta ja. Adoiii, come on la bro....

Tapi, tapi, tapi, kalau Slam tak pa. I'm willing to make an exception. Hihihihi.

Sebab Slam lain dari Scoin semua tu. They are in a class of their own, one that's better than the rest tu. Acecece. Dah minat tu ada ja alasan kan.

Zaman radio berkaset. Seems like a lifetime ago.

So anyways, been listening to Slam all day while studying for the paper tomorrow. I still remember most of the lyrics! And...the crush that I used to have on Zamani, it's still there! >.<

I mean, listen to his voice! Cair kot!

Version baru yang ada Mawi tu tak best la. Over ja Mawi. Original lagi best. (I know I'm biased towards Zamani. Dicampur dengan faktor kurang gemar Mawi.) Tapi kenapa dalam video klip tu Zamani nampak sangat kurus. Macam sakit ja. Suara dia pon dah lain sikit dari dulu. Dia memang sakit kot. Kesiannya... Awat cek tak kahwin-kahwin lagi ni? Takkan frust dengan ehem ehem lagi kot.. Semoga Tuhan temukan jodoh yang baik-baik di masa yang terdekat untuk dia, Amin.

Ok dah mengarut. Sebab caffein RedBull ada lagi dalam saluran darah. Ditambah dengan pressure hari esok.

Nite!

Believers believing they are better off than the non-believers.

Non-believers (atheists, agnostics, deistic, whatever suits your fancy) are laughing their pants off, believing that the religion is only for mentally backward people.

Of course we are inclined to believe that our belief is the correct belief.

Discussions are always welcomed, but please retain a certain degree of respect for each other. Whatever belief one might hold, it is something sacred that one holds so dearly, running deeper than the blood pumping through the veins. It's like that bond that you have with your family; no matter how crappy yours might be, you'll find it offensive if someone outside of your family judges yours under an unfavorable light.

If respecting one's family falls under the category of Basic Common Sense 101, why does one's choice of personal belief elude this category? If a member of a religion gets upset over an offensive remark targeting his belief, the non-believers would be quick to dismiss it as a typical expected reaction from a close-minded bigot.

I just don't get it.

Maybe it's too much too ask. Maybe human are born with the need to judge others, so that he can believe that he is better.

Everything Will Be Ok In The End. If It's Not Ok, It's Not The End.

I find this T-shirt funny. In fact, when I first saw this, reading through the lines actually made me giggle. Maybe it's too pessimistic that the dreamer in me finds it silly.

If I ever found this T-shirt, I'll buy it. SoI can be a walking contradiction.

Coy Roy

Sexiest drum beat I've ever heard. Probably have heard it over hundreds of times, never get tired of it. It's being played on repeat today; lagu yang sangat sesuai untuk hari-hari mendung macam hari ni.

Imagine this : Steve Gadd's drum licks, with Kelly Jones's voice over it. I know this song is not Kelly's territory, but just imagine. It'll be an explosion of eargasm. Too much sexiness for one to handle in one song.

As much as I adore this song, I think the lyrics are the dumbest piece of advice I've ever heard. Period.

I mean, if you want to leave a girl for another girl, just tell her. She can handle it! Chances are, if you are such a prick, your girlfriend will probably survive the break-up. She'll even be better off without you. Some girls don't like to be played the fool, you know.

You Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Stupid tak? Hahahaha!! Cracks me up everytime.

*Notice that the Roy my father warned about is mentioned in the chorus. I knew he was onto something!*

But the drums and the song are still awesome.

Malay Dilemma?

Finished reading another chapter in The Malay Dilemma. Susah sungguh nak habiskan. Sebab Ablenkung dari novel-novel lain yang lagi menarik banyak. Lagipon, buku macam ni, lepas habis satu-satu tajuk, nak kena ada sesi diskusi, pastu fikir-fikir dan renung-renungkan, barulah boleh nak absorb betul-betul.

Following a long discussion with Encik just now, we came to a few conclusions (which are of course our mere opinions, not facts, and I never intend to imply so) which can be broken down to a few important points here :

1) Malays protect their Ketuanan Melayu with such fierceness and perhaps, rightly so.

2) Most Malays tend to discredit themselves too quick too often; they've been told a long time ago that they are not able to compete with other races without the leverage of the Bumiputera title, and they hold onto the belief so dearly.

3) Most Malays are afraid of the Malaysian Chinese. They are just human beings! They've no superpowers! Some of them work really hard, and the results show. That's it. There are slackers Chinese, as there are slackers Malays and Indians. It has nothing to do with race! Not unless we allow ourselves to conform to these racial stereotypes.

4) Most Malays believe that without the leverage, our race would perish; I personally think we should give ourselves more credit regarding our capabilities.

5) Most Malays are scared of the possibility of no 4) actually happening, but most Malays do not take proactive measures in case no 4) actually happens. We stay lazy. And lament and complain. Well, at least, we are good at that.

6) Some influential group notices this fear, and they use it as a chain to keep us from questioning too much, if at all, from forming our own opinions other than those that are in line with the group's interest.

7) In return, we give this group of people too much power, that we readily give up our rights, and they keep feeling more secure and getting sloppier in fulfilling their responsibility to us, to the country.

8) I know the situation in Malaysia is not as dire as in the Middle Eastern, and some might question, tak cukup bersyukur ke apa yang dah dapat?, but do we really need to wait until things get much worse before wanting a change?

9) Disregarding any involvement of political parties in it, I still think Bersih is not a bad concept. Who in their right mind wouldn't want a fair election in their country? Saying 'no' to that is like proclaiming that we are totally OK with the possibility of being cheated.

10) Kenapa orang nak cakap, tak cukup ka apa kerajaan bagi?, tak bersyukur ka dengan pembangunan yang kerajaan dah buat?, I mean that's pretty messed up, how they think of that. First of all, I believe that the notion of perasaan syukur tu hanya boleh digunakan kepada Tuhan. Rezeki Tuhan yang bagi ok, dan itu bergantung setakat mana yang kita usaha. Second of all, it's not like the government took the money out of their own pocket to feed us, to do all these pembangunan! It's the taxpayer's money, and if your parents pay their taxes, you are entitled to what we have gotten in our country so far. Third of all, it's their responsibility because it's their job. If they do their job properly, respect, they deserve to stay another term, but bersyukur to them? Or maybe I misunderstood and they actually meant, bersyukur kepada Tuhan of what the government has done to our country so far. But the way to show our kesyukuran is by saying 'no' to a fair election? Ok, that's even more messed up than the first one.

11) I'm not taking any sides, I don't even have sides that if someone would ask me to pangkah right now, the paper would just come up blank (when the time comes to pangkah I would look at the calon-calon first, that's my strategy). I just want to see Malaysia has a political scene that's healthy in which both sides work together to keep each other in check, and the voice of the people and kepentingan rakyat are the ones that matter the most. Or maybe that exists only in a dream.

12) I cycled for 31km today woot! Hehe. Sekarang, kalau baring pon kaki sakit. Sungguh tak macho. Ok itu ja nak tambah.