13 February 2011

Sunday Morning

Had a catch-up session with girlfriend last night. Rindu~ Nanti aku balik hang bawak jalan-jalan naik Suria merah na?

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Mom insists that I fly back home soon, for a short 1-2 weeks break. She would even sponsor the ticket. As tempted as I am to pack up my bags and catch the next possible flight to Kuala Lumpur, I've got to face the fact that I still have unfinished business here. Going back now might just be another item to add in my list of bad decisions, produced under pressure; just like spending the whole 6 months of last semester in Malaysia. It would have made more sense if I stayed and finished all my papers first, but oh well. I was out of gas at that point.

Everything has to go perfectly according to plan this time, no f**ckups allowed.

Mom, I think we might just have to bear not seeing each other for another couple of months.

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People need time to get used to a new environment. I'm a Cancer somemore. My little brother is one too. Cancerians proceed with extra caution around changes. We are creatures of comfort. And we are not too comfortable in directly voicing out our discomfort; much more with someone we really care, someone whose happiness is of utmost important to us.

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I hate excuses. Even more, I hate hearing excuses uttered from my mouth. Excuses are for the weak-willed.

I will stop making excuses.

If I do not want to do something, it is because I DO NOT WANT TO. Not because of some petty excuses, that could be dealt with even for someone with half a normal brain.

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A few friends and I were having the 'would you rather..' discussions.

Me : Between the ability to eat, eat and eat but still stay at 45kg, forever, and 5000 Euros in cold-hard-cash, which would you choose?

Friend : Eat.

Me : 10000 Euros?

Friend : Eat.

Me : 20000 Euros?

Friend : Eat.

Me : Hmm.

I have to say, that ability is quite something. I would even pay to have it.

Me : OK. Would you rather have 5000 Euros, or pass up ever not knowing me in your life? *realized it was a bad question as soon as I asked*

Another friend : I would! I would! I would even take 100 Euros!

Me : Cis. -.-''

Got me to thinking. At what price would I let go the people that I know in my life. It makes you realize the value of some people to you.

As for me, it gives me motivation to make time, and make effort, to catch up with those important people, once in a while, amidst the distraction called living, as to not let them slip away.

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