21 November 2010

These Things We Should Know

Jesse James allegedly cheated on the ever stunning Sandra Bullock because of her overwhelming success that he can't seem to come to terms with.

By now the media has lost count of how many times fashionista Sienna Miller keeps going back to the arms of Jude Law even though it is apparent that the bad boy Jude doesn't seem to want to be domesticated and tamed.

Recently another two women confessed of having shared intimate moments with Beckham oh pretty pretty Beckham who was allegedly said to be frustrated of Victoria's lack of meat like she used to have during her Spice Girls's days. Just because he is such a beautiful creature, I (my boyfriend seems to share the same opinion too but maybe for other 'manly' reason) am willing to dismiss this confessions as some girls' cheap tickets to the limelight. I know I am shallow.

Who can't forget the pictures of the badly bruised and battered face of Rihanna just hours after the incident that created a world-wide rage?

Permaisuri Aishah risked her reputation after pictures of her closeness with the notorious ghost-hunter leaked on the guy's blog. Who knows, she might actually have developed real feelings towards the guy (mungkin jugak Uncle tu hypnotize her into liking him) only to discover that she is just an instrument in his dishonorable quest.

A family friend was pronounced bankrupt several years ago thanks to her two-timing ex-husband. At mid-30s, she had to rebuild her life and her career from the ruins for the sake of her children.

All of these are the results of abusive relationships.

Relationships are really tricky as there is many gray areas that you must wade through. A woman might think that as long as she doesn't have bruises on her skins, she is in a healthy relationship, which is very misleading. Abuse doesn't always have to be physical.

As an empowered generation of women, to know and understand our basic rights in a relationship is a favor that we owe to ourselves.

And these are our rights (I found this from the internet) :

1) The right to good will from the other; when you commit yourself to another in a relationship, you are put in a very vulnerable state. If your partner doesn't have an honorable intention towards you, you have basically just dug your own grave.
2) To receive emotional support; relationship is a two-way support system, not a babysitting service. Otherwise the relationship will be emotionally draining.
3) To have your own view, even if your partner has a different view. This does not apply to core beliefs, like religion, sexuality, and life goals.
4) To right to be heard and responded to with respect. Indifference is as bad as a mean response.
5) To be called by no name that devalues you.
6) To have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real and important, not dismissed as trivial.
7) To receive a sincere apology for any comments or jokes that you find offensive.
8) To live free from criticism and judgement. The wounds of verbal abuse stay long after physical wounds have healed.
9) To receive clear and honest communication. No going behind your partner's back.
10) To be respectfully asked rather than ordered. It should be an equal relationship, not a boss-employee dynamic.
11) To live free from accusation and blame.
12) To have your beliefs and your interests spoken of with respect. (Note to Encik Fudye : So I believe in UFOs and bigfoot and dinosaurs..these beliefs should be treated with respect, ehem ehem.)
13) To receive encouragement, be it in terms of words, times or energy. A partner should not resent or undermine the success of the other by being indifferent to his/her efforts. If anything, a partner should be your biggest cheerleader.
14) To live free from emotional and physical threats.
15) The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business. If you both agree to pursue a relationship, a long-term one, then a partner has the right to know where and with whom you are spending your time with. You have the right to feel secure in a relationship.


In all seriousness. My mom always tell me that if respect to your parents can't stop you from doing wrong things, then at least, have respect for yourself.

You owe all this to yourself. Peace.


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