A Love Letter

Dear you,

I hope you know just what you're doing to your life and your future. Future. I think the meaning of the word just escapes you. Sometimes I do wish I can be a little bit more like you. I think most of us wish so. To live in the moment with reckless abandon and indulge in the most hedonistic ways, without restrictions of any rules. To just part-ay and part-ay and pa and pa and part-ay, like that very annoying song that's a favourite of yours. That'd be quite a life, no? It's just that, some of us are more aware of the rules restricting us than others. Scared is another word, if you insist.

Me the scaredy-cat. Maybe I am. But what set us apart from the naked-ass apes are these sets of rule and the fact that they are living in the jungles of amazon and we are here. I think if we take them out there and put them here in our civilized world, they'll as quickly turn into a lazy, greedy, drunk, stoned and violent bunch who fucks anything with a hole at every opportunity they have. Maybe not all, that'd be too ambitious, but a variation of combinations of those characters. But we don't need apes to give us those, we already have a lot of that here and now.

You don't know shit. You're just the geeky goody-two-shoes. You know what? Yes, maybe I do not know shit after all. But what I know for sure is that, once the dust settles down, once the euphoria fades and all those supposed friends pack up their ass and let you rot alone, I will be there to pick you up under the ruins. I think you know that too and maybe that puts me at the losing end. I know you love me but you have no idea just how much I love you. Loving someone puts you at such disadvantage because you don't know what you'll be presented with in return. At least the risk I'm taking in loving you is balanced with the love I know will always be waiting for me from that exceptional person who has been with me through all of this.

I'm writing this because I feel helpless that I can't reach to you anymore. I'm losing you slowly and she knows it too. My only wish now is that you will fall sooner so that I can pick you up sooner and this could all disappear into a nightmare of the past sooner.

With lots of love,

Me.