"Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."

... from the novel 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' which a friend was so nice to send me as a birthday prezzie. Somehow that particular line stuck with me.

Come What May

We might not realized that most of the familiar phrases in English language that almost everyone have heard and used are coined/popularized by Shakespeare. To a certain extent, we are poets, you and I.

Source: englishmuse.com via Adrienne on Pinterest

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I think I might bake these cuties for Halloween!

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

-On the Road.-

Everything Will Be Ok In The End. If It's Not Ok, It's Not The End.

I find this T-shirt funny. In fact, when I first saw this, reading through the lines actually made me giggle. Maybe it's too pessimistic that the dreamer in me finds it silly.

If I ever found this T-shirt, I'll buy it. SoI can be a walking contradiction.

Getting Ready To Exist

They tell you all the time to not let what other people think of you define who you are. But really, I think that when you are dead, the cumulative thoughts of other people about you defines who you are; since you no longer exists and so does your perception of who you are.

I would love to know what people think of me though I'm afraid I might be tempted to change my ways (even though I would love to be able to say, the hell with what other people think, I think I can't say that and truly mean it). So I figured, as long as I am alive and kicking, I want to be me, on my own terms. Without fear, without inhibition.

*****

One of my favorite bookmarked page is the blog of nightmare brunette. It tells the real story of a high-end escort, the nature of her work and how she deals with it physically and emotionally. Her stories are quite raunchy at times but if you wanted to read her blog just because of that, well, I think you are better off watching a good porn. That's not the reason why her blog has gotten so much attention; though it surely might have sparked the initial curiosity.

What keeps me and most of her readers glued to her updates is how she spun her day-to-day routine into tales charged with emotions, written with blatant honesty.

I've always find it fascinating to watch how human would react in a given circumstances; circumstances that I have never, or never will find myself in. The same reason why I love watching real-life crime stories. It never ceases to amaze me to learn the real motives behind real murders, to find out which buttons have been pushed for someone to commit senseless murders, to see the faces of real-life psychopaths, which in most cases are as normal as possible, like the harmless guy or lady you would probably have no problem sitting next to on the train.

Same thing here.

In her blog, Claire (if I'm not mistaken, that's her name, although it rarely comes up in her writing) muses on her everyday life, as she goes about her job while sorting out where she stands emotionally with her clients while confronting her insecurities. I've always been a firm believer that it is almost impossible for women not to be emotional attached to a guy she is involved with physically because we are just wired that way. But as the way the society works evolve with time, and sex becomes just, well, sex, nothing of the sacred kind anymore, women are forced to detach themselves from the whole emotional thing, lest she wants to be labeled as needy and clingy and weak. I think that is just unnatural. And sad.

They are made to believe that it is emancipation, but really, it's just another form of suppression.

Following her blog for quite some time now has made me developed a genuine interest in her, meaning that, whatever she's searching for, I truly wish that she'll find it. Soon. Though our circumstances are different, our needs and insecurities are just the same. Women, deep down at the core, all long for the same thing. I'm rooting for a happy end for her!

*****

Let's end the tonight's post on a lighter note. Ta-da!

He likes to play retard, kan? Though what an adorable one.

27 Hours, the movie, is finally out in the web. Dah lama dah, last two weeks kot. Apart from the fact that my fave screen hottie is in it, the film itself adalah sangat mendebarkan. Of course, I was expecting very graphic gory scenes when Aaron cut his own hand, trapped beneath a boulder rock, with a blunt utility knife, but I didn't expect it to be that bloody. I was watching the whole scene through my fingers while squirming in the seat the whole while! Cayala Franco, boleh berebut Oscar ni dengan Natalie Portman, though if it were up me, it wouldn't be a competition pon.

By the way, if you didn't know, the film was based on a true story, and the character that Franco played, Aaron Ralston is very much alive and kicking. You've gotta admire this guy's will to live.

Two days ago, I was dealing with that cramp during that time of the month, and the only painkiller that I have at home was aspirin. The doctor has warned me against painkiller with 'BCM' and 'prufen' group and that includes paracetamol and aspirin which is one of the trigger for my allergy reaction. Somehow I forgot to search for an alternative at the pharmacy to stock at home for times like these. Biasala. Melayu cepat lupa. Manusia susah baru nak cari Tuhan. Sakit baru nak cari ubat.

So I was faced with the choice of dealing with the minor discomfort for half-a-day or take the aspirin and risk having swollen eyes for two days. No points for guessing correctly which one I've gone for. Yup, not being a fan of pain, I succumbed to the aspirin and had to live with alien eyes for two days.

This got me to thinking, if I were to end up in Aron's situation, what would I do? If my only chance at survival is to cut my own hand, without anaesthetic, with a blunt sorry knife, would I go for it and stand the pain? Or would I rather wait for a slow painful death out of starvation and dehydration?

Anybody read Orwell's 1984? Kalaula aku jadi Julia, bila kena tangkap dengan Thought Police tu, belum sempat kena seksa untuk extort semua info yang depa nak, aku lagi awal offer info tu, dengan senang hatinya throw Winston under the bus. If Winston really loves me, he would understand.

*****

Zodiac sudah tukar? Poor Scorpios get only a week in the whole year? What's up with the new Uphecisuwhatever?And I'm supposed to be a Gemini now? NO WAY JOSE! No offense to those Geminis out there, but I'd rather stay a Cancerian. Emotional as we are, Cancerians are still the awesome sign.

*****

Ok dah mengarut. Must go sleep now. Tomorrow will be a long day, bergelumang dengan buku. Good luck for those studying for exams or are sitting for exams. Night!

Probably

"I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times."

-Celine in Before Sunset-

Year XXVI

"When you want something,

all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist-

I guess it's fair to say that the same thing applies when you don't want something. So it's only wise not to do things half-heartedly. It would only lead to a less-than-favorable outcome, draining your energy and soul throughout the process. And be careful of what you wish for. You might just get it. *cue for Pussycatdolls's song as background music*

Your guts letting you in yet on how 2011 is going to turn out for you? Mine kinda has. This year won't be easy, that much is a fact, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be exciting. I'm slightly nervous but hell yeah, bring it on.

Wishing all of you who frequently or accidentally drop by this corner of mine a great journey ahead in 2011!

Beauty and Terror

Let everything happen to you

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

no feeling is final.

Rainer Maria Rilke