The Other Half

Had a lot of heart-to-heart talk with my little brother lately. But none compared to the conversation we had yesterday. With his hair styling course coming to an end in another month, and his involvement in DJ-ing seems to be on to something, he was about to reach the end of one stage of his life, approaching the beginning of another; the timing which also coincides with mine.

He said everything is in place. During his last couple of visits to KL, he had made contact with an established DJ in KL who agreed to take him under his wings. All he had to do once he finishes his course is to move to KL and start his internship at a hair salon which would allow him to train his DJ-ing at the same time. But still, the thought of taking that big leap is scary, he told me.

And that is exactly how I've been feeling lately. What happens next? I know what I want to do with my life. I have this plan I've drawn in my head of how I should go about to do what I want to do. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, filling in the gaps in the plan from time to time. I think given more preparation and 200% perspiration, my plan could actually work. But why does that sinking feeling keep coming back?

It's the fear of the unknown that keeps knocking at the back of your head, that tiny voice that is supposed to tell you 'everything's gonna be okay' but feeds you with doubts instead.

How are we ever to know that things will work out? We don't. We just have to strap the boots and take that first step, tackling each obstacle along the way as we go on and keep going on.

I shared this with him, my fears and my thoughts on it. I think it's the first time that he ever truly listens to my attempt at being the big-sister-with-the-wise-advice. Finally. I scored!

I pray that he would always turn to me in the future whenever he needs a little piece of advise, encouragement or just a pair of keen ears.

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On his involvement in DJ-ing. I admit that at first, I didn't like the idea. I don't like the lifestyle that's associated with it. Yes, I'm the prude, so-not-cool sister. Very kekampungan.

When my mom told me she was actually considering to buy him a mixer and the equipments, I was totally against it and I made it very clear. Which had resulted in quite a tiff between me and my little brother that I could feel we were starting to grow apart.

I realized than that to let the differences between my brother and I to pull apart our very small close-knit family to grow apart like that is just not worth it. I rather support his interest and have him close to me; so that I can keep a hawk-precise close eye on him. He told me to trust his judgement but a big sister will always be a big sister.

When I come back, you're moving in with me, brother.

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