28-year-old mummy to an amazing 1-year-old baby Anggun who I secretly believes favor her daddy more than me but of course, I won't admit that to him. Entrepreneur, environmental scientist, go-getter.
20 September 2012
Letter to Future Son(s)/Daughter(s)
In less than 2 months, I will be married to your father, someone I have loved for quite a long time. I still do love him, with an increasing intensity with each passing day, and he still makes me blush and giggle like a schoolgirl.
We are both 25 years old this year, not rich, not broke either. Just enough to get by and enjoy the little pleasures life has to offer from time to time. Life is not that hard, we had it easier than our parents, that's for sure, but it's not a breeze all the time either.
Dreams, we have many of those, many of which have not materialized yet.
With the wedding inching closer, it's the inevitable to have people ask us about our plan in popping out mini us in the near future. To tell you the truth, I find the question terrifying. Like for instance, a colleague in office told us she is 3 months pregnant and the rest joked that I will be next. And I became defensive, to the point of near hyperventilating that I would exaggerate every single problem into a mountain.
Am I going to be able to go after all of my dreams after I have kids to tend to? What about the kids' father, is he going to miss out the baby's first smile, first word, first step? (As for now, both of us has agreed to live separately after marriage due to work obligation.) What about me; with the hormonal change and all, am I going to endure all that without someone holding my hair behind my neck while I puke over a the sink, cry and puke some more? What about my cravings, who's going to tend to that when my husband is going to be 4-hour drive away? Who is going to take care of the kids? Have you seen the video where the nanny kicked and stepped on the baby when it cries? I'm not putting my kids at such a risk, I'm going to hate myself. If I have to work, who's going to take the kids to museum after school, teach them about the world more than what the school can teach them, nurture their inquisitiveness? Am I going to have time to take them to the playground? Would they end up spending most of their waking time with the nanny than with me? Would they end up preferring to play Angry Birds on iPad than talk to me, or read books? Am I going to get fat with lots of cellulite? Am I going to get ugly? Would my husband find me ugly? What am I going to wear? Am I going to be able to endure the 9 months of such hormonal instability gracefully when having to deal with it a few days every month turns me into a time-bomb bitch ready to explode? Am I going to hate my husband's smell like some stories I've heard? Am I going to stay fat after the pregnancy? And then there's the childbirth itself. Natural labor, are you kidding me? This is someone who takes pain killer each month before I even get stomach cramps just so I don't have to feel it. If I did opt for Caesarian birth, I heard tending to the wound is hellish. Even giggling would cause great discomfort. And don't make me go into breastfeeding that's a whole another story. Would I actually have any idea on how to raise a child? I mean, I cut and bumped and bruised myself all the time from unfortunate miss of judgements, how can I make sure I don't hurt a child? Is now even the right time to raise a kid, I mean have you read the news, kids are being snatched off the streets all the time! Like just now, I forgot where I put my wallet, am I actually fit to be a mother? Are we going to be able to raise the kids in a comfortable life? How do one travel with little kids anyway, I mean can they actually go to Macchu Picchu, we haven't been to Macchu Picchu and I've always wanted to go to Macchu Picchu so bad! Would my in-laws and family hate me if we decided to wait a few years before having kids? If we did plan on waiting first, would God consider us ungrateful and not grant us any kids at all, like ever? What if we did have kids and it turned out we weren't ready? Would having kids change us into a different person?
All these rendered me paralyzed with fear sometimes.
But the thing is, despite all that chaos in my head, I have this feeling that one day I am going to be a mother. And I am going to relish the role. Just that the feeling seems to be quite a distance from now.
So if you are old enough to read this, if there are times when I am being difficult like mothers tend to be, you should know that I went against all of my own arguments to go through something I am most terrified of; childbirth and being a mother. Do know that I love you with such ferocious tenacity, rivaling that of the fiercest lioness of the savannah. So don't be too difficult on me and your father, please.
Lots of love,
Me.
15 September 2012
Searching for That Dream House
But in the end, who knows for sure if the market is going to continue this steady rise in the next 10 years? What if the market crashes tomorrow? Nobody can tell you the answer, even the most expert in the industry. Only God knows that.
Helipad
Along the road, any empty vast space left are being developed into residential units. There's this double-storey resort homes, with its own private pool. Then there's this luxurious condominium, its starting selling price is RM1 million. It gets one wondering what comes with a unit with a shared roof and floor at that price tag. Deep burned curiosity alone is not enough to overcome the intimidation to actually enter the sales office and take a tour around the show unit.
An evening drive on that road if it's not congested makes you feel like you are on a holiday. Rain trees lined each side of the road. A sign board by the roadside across the road opposite the luxury condo caught our attention. It says: Helipad. Behind it an expansive area which we initially thought was a football field.
Wow. Just wow. Seriously, normal people need heli to move around these days? That's obnoxious but hey, if our Prime Minister gets to ride in one, whose to say no to other equally busy and mobile individual?
Fudhail joked that we could land our own heli there some time, albeit a battery-powered one. Yeah sure.
I'm not hating. Kalau la kita ditakdirkan sekaya itu, no telling what we might do. It could be worse. Maybe instead of a heli, it would be a heli fashioned to look like a unicorn. See. Told you it could be worse.
11 September 2012
TT
Last weekend, Arief, the mystery creature who only appears to the naked eyes once in a while whenever it pleases, who also happens to be my brother, decided to follow us to the viewing of the houses, since he is going to be living with me. Most of the time.
After we are done for the day we decided to go for dinner together. Left alone just the two of us, Fudhail off somewhere, the following conversation took place.
"Tadi tengok kakak dengan Fudhail buat belanjawan bulanan lepas kahwin, rasa sedih."
"Awat? Sebab kami sengkek ka? Hahaha."
"Taklah, sebab cepat sangat rasanya. Tu yang adik lari masuk bilik tu."
"TT."
'TT' wasn't a word, it was me crying. I cried in public. Got my mascara running down my eyes so that I look like a panda.
I told my mom and she said, "We're happy for you but we're both still adjusting."
"TT."
As much as a weirdo my family is, our love for each other in undeniable.
06 September 2012
Wedding Planning
So I have made clear the two 'sacred' things I'm not willing to compromise on. These things, come hell or high water (sounds creepy since the wedding would be near 'kola' as Perlisians called it), shall be present on the day, unless they are not meant to be by the bigger force of Heaven :
1) Unicorn carriage. I'd settle for a horse (a white horse with a horn attached to its forehead).
2) Rainbow sponge cake
Not that too much to ask for eh?
Some other details that I'm fond of:
1) Floss candy
2) Foosball table - We first bonded over a game of this; by the way I won on our first date!
3) Smarties / colorful jellies
4) Printed balloons
5) Live band
6) Soap bubble and paper confetti
7) Slideshows of our baby photos/video on solemnization
Why not throw in some elephant and trapeze swingers, since it looks like you're having a circus not a wedding?
Well, it can be a carnival-themed wedding, like Britney's Circus album. I think I prolly should do an inspiration board, to show to Ibu and mother-in-law.
I would be nice to have a laid-back not-too-formal wedding where we and our favorite people can have a good time at.
So the progress so far? Mr Groom has completed his form, so it's my turn to do it before we could get a signature of the Tok Imam. I'll share the details in another post. Mana tau boleh buat rujukan masa hadapan.
Blood test. Oh man..susah gila nak buat kat area sini. 3 minggu prior kena buat appointment tau!
Photographer/videographer confirmed. Called the guy the other day (he's really cool btw), cakap nak tambah macam-macam daripada package asal, nak outdoor photoshoot 2 kali la, nak tambah lagi satu clip extra untuk tayang time wedding la, tapi still dapat harga yang sama yayy me!
Baju nikah dah beli! Beli yang biasa-biasa aja, nak meng-Vera-Wang tak mampu. Baju yang beli ni kaler putih, mode style, retro habis ah. Planning nak tambah beading sendiri nanti. Puiii macam la sempat. Baju pengantin lelakiku nak tempah weekend ni.
Rumah masih lagi menyopping. Yang susah sebab ada limited budget. Scratch that. Very limited budget. On top of that, memilih pulak tu. Yang apartment/rumah teres biasa-biasa takmau hehe. Tapi in all seriousness, we are looking for a well-maintained condos like the one I'm renting now because of the tight security since I would be living alone most of the time kan. Baru-baru ni ada kes perempuan kena kelar leher dekat apartment dekat-dekat sini! Scary, ya Allah minta dijauhkan! Kalau tak sebab memilih walhal budget limited, dah lama dah beli, banyak kot yang berkenan. Rumah dekat area Kota Damansara ni harga dah shoot through the roof dah, sebab dah confirm nak buat MRT. Oh man, kalau ada duit, it would be a very god investment to buy in this area.
Make-up artist dah janji dengan a good friend in Kulim nanti dia nak bawakkan jumpa officemate dia ada kedai.
Apa lagi? Lah. Baru tu ja. Banyak lagi ni tak siapppp! Hantaran belum beli! Ibu dah pesan jangan beli kasut, dia tak gemar nak kena letak atas dulang semua I can't understand the logic pfffft.
Off to work now, bye!
06 August 2012
The Wedding Planner
"Oh no, not again...you've been changing your--"
"I want to be a wedding planner! That's my calling, my true calling!"
"Babe, let's focus--"
"I've never felt so sure in my life about anything than this moment!"
"Well, you said that when you told me you wanted to run a resort by the beach---"
"This is different!"
"Sure.."
"Why are you not being the supportive boyfriend, we are getting married in 4 months!"
"I think you should calm down, maybe it's just the adrenaline--"
"No! This is real, I know I'mma be awesome at it!"
"O-K..."
Been changing my mind of what I want to be since I was a kid. Guess some things stay the same, huh?
29 July 2012
Part 5 : Quest of The Ring..and Others.
24 July 2012
Bridezilla Part 4 : Next Step
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| What the venue looks like at night captured by the lens of a highly-skilled photographer. |
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| What the venue looks like during sunset captured by the lens of a artistically-inclined photographer. |
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| What the venue actually looks like through the naked eyes and captured by a shutter-click-happy newbie. |
Date and venue for the wedding confirmed so what's next on the list?
Solemnization!
We chose to have it a month earlier for many reasons. Utmost important reason being, again, convenience for all the parties involved. Having it on the same day of the wedding would be a bit kelam kabut, having it on the weekend prior to the wedding would mean we both have to take almost 2 consecutive weeks of leave..
Hence we decided to have the solemnization on 10.11.12. Pretty neat date, huh? ;) Boleh ambil cuti sehari plus weekend untuk selesaikan semua urusan. Or maybe another extra 2 days of pre-honeymoon. Oops. Hehe.
Moving on. What you actually NEED to get married are :
1. Kursus kahwin
2. Sijil kursus kahwin
3. Surat akuan bujang
4. HIV, talasemia test
5. Borang kebenaran nikah
6. Salinan IC wali
7. Salinan IC dua orang saksi
8. Sijil nikah parents
9. Borang nikah dari Pejabat Agama
10. Jurunikah/Tok Kadi
These are actually the only things you need to be pronounced as husband and wife in God's eyes; the rest is just icing, frosting, fondant topped with sprinkles, sugar balls and chocolate sprinkles. Islam itu mudah. But I guess kalau tak menyulitkan keadaan, apa salahnya buat wedding untuk mewar-warkan ikatan yang sah tu dan juga meraikan pengantin, sesuai dengan kemampuan.
Lepas dah hadiri kursus kahwin, suruh si bakal suami ambil borang nikah dari Pejabat Agama, isi semua yang berkaitan, lepas tu suruh dia hand over semua documents untuk dilampirkan bersama borang yang telah diisi oleh si bakal isteri. Please take note, tak semua jurunikah mahu nikahkan dekat rumah, dan jurunikah ni kena book awal-awal jangan nanti nak berebut dengan Bridezilla lain pulak. But, the approved borang nikah is only valid for ONE MONTH for us ladies and THREE MONTHS for the guys. Jadi nak book awal sangat pon tak boleh jugak. Kena standby borang, cukup-cukup sebulan submit. But I do plan to call the Jurunikah 3 months in advance, who knows perhaps we can come to an agreement that the date can be reserved for us, even before any black and white is submitted.
Next up are
1. Photographer
I've been eyeing this very talented duo which happened to be my schoolmate during my SMK Sultanah Asma days. Asked for quote and the price is at a staggering range between RM2k to RM4k! Is that normal? I mean, I do respect people's talent and passion but that is quite pricey.. So that leaves me to square one and I'm gonna have to keep on searching.
2. Kain untuk baju akad nikah
The plan is to go shopping with the beau this weekend. We opted to go for the safe cream colour so we have to shop together because as you know, there's countless shades of whites available, off by 2-3 shade and it's going to look very odd.
3. Wedding dress
Kalau sempat nak pergi test baju sekali.
4. Cincin & hantaran.
Going browsing/shopping this week too. Lima dulang berbalas tujuh. Cincin dengan sirih junjung tu termasuk sekali dalam hantaran ka asing eh? Kalau sekali rugi la! Boleh tak cincin tu selit masuk di celahan daun sirih? Hmm..have to refer to Ibu and Mama Rohana.
5. Kad kahwin.
Have a few ideas running through my head now, have to finalize it with The Future Husband, materialize it somehow and discuss with The Mom and The In-Laws before going to the printer. or should we go to the printer first and ask them to materialize the ideas we have? Have to find out.
6. A house.
Utmost important thing is going shopping/window shopping for a house this weekend. Ibu is planning to take Maktok back to kampung pretty soon; Maktok's longing for a kampung life, come on, at the age of 70, jalan-jalan pusing The Curve, Putrajaya, Melaka, shopping complex lost its appeal soon enough in favor of the quiet, tranquil kampung life where everybody knows everybody.
The house I'm renting now is very comfortable in terms of the facilities, convenience and security it provides. The rent I'm paying now is however around 25-30% under market price, God bless the landlord who has not increased the rent for the last 5 years or so I believe. I should perhaps rent the house out at the current market price, and pocket the extra cash heh? If only.. Point is, if we decide to buy the house I'm staying now, at the current market price, the monthly payment would be 25-30% higher than what I'm actually paying.
Condos/landed houses around this area come with a price tag that makes mouths drop, eyes wide open, but there are some gems lay hidden if you are willing to look properly. I don't see the point of us paying a sum of money every month to repay someone else's loan. Money we worked hard for, money earned while being apart from each other.
So yeah. Definitely making a few appointments to have a look at the houses these weekends.
Gosh how I wish I have an extra 2 hours each day just to plan for these. Good thing is, with all these hecticness, the 4-5 months are going to fly by very fast!
15 minutes to berbuka! Selamat berbuka!
22 July 2012
Bridezilla Part 3 : Venue - Confirmed
By yesterday the venue was down to 3 choices; Timah Tasoh Lake, Putra Brasmana, and Dewan Warisan or 2020. The latter choice we didn`t have any contact so we proceeded wih the first two.
Mama Rohana said Timah Tasoh if she remembered correctly wasn`t so pricey so we went to have a look. The place evokes a romantic mood. The hall overlooks the tranquil lake, series of lush green hills acts as the perfect backdrop.
One minor downside is it`s about 15km from the city center. Second major one is Fasha Sandha. Given the recent exposure of the place thanks to her, the place is overglamorized now the price has shot through the
roof. RM18 per head PLUS you have to also take the wedding decoration package they offer which includes RM500 for wedding cake table, RM1500 for walkway, RM3500 for pelamin, RM1000 for meja pengantin. These are the areas you can cut corners on, areas where you can save a lot. I`d rather splurge on good food for the guests.
Next up is Ocean Glow, Putra Brasmana. First look and I fell in love. From afar you can see these white canopy arranged on a jetty extending out into the sea. I can imagine the scenery during sunset. Mesti romantik abessss. *dreams*
The person we talked to was super sweet. Looks like an easy person to have to work with. We can bring outside food too in addition of the ones that were prepared under the package. Personally I like to pay for a hall which includes food, meja kerusi semua. Senang. Less hassle for my inlaws and my mom since I won`t be able to handle everything.
This package which is at RM12 per head includes all that and more. Meja makan beradap pengantin, red carpet, PA system, semua pon termasuk. Ada 10% discount on the hotel room kalau sedara mara nak duduk. I think the price is fair enough. And the management is also ready to accommodate our other needs macam pelamin, extra food etc.
What sold me on the place is...ada horse carriage! Kalau ada kuda putih, nak letak horn bagi jadi unicorn! Maybe the excitement was all over my face that both families agreed on the venue. We booked it on the same day.
Venue: settled. Time to fuss over other fun details!
15 July 2012
Bridezilla : Part 2 : Venue
Or perhaps I shouldn't have came in to the office today, just so that my work would pile up just enough to drive the boss crazy and then I can complain about having to be sent off somewhere every alternating week without a laptop which renders me unable to do write-up on-site. But maybe, a laptop would just be a curse; the boss can just demand things to be sent on time. Arghh such is the dilemma.
So anyways. The boss asked if I still wanted to on on sampling. "You tak nak jage kecantikan ke babe?" referring to my impending wedding. Perhaps I'll stop somewhere in mid-October.
Back to the wedding plans. Got an SMS from girlfriend early this morning, hinting me on the promotion AirAsia will be carrying out starting tomorrow. She urged me to book fast. Appreciate her effort!
The thing is, the date is still up in the air to be decided. I'll be going back to Perlis this weekend, to discuss with mother-in-law-to-be about the date and the venue since we are having a double reception the reason being boyfriend can't afford to take too many day off, company kedekut cuti siot. AND since we share almost half mutual friends it would be kind of redundant and a waste to hold a wedding for more or less the same set of people back-to-back during the same weekend.
I know this could be a tricky path to thread in but Aunty Rohana doesn't seem like a cerewet mother-in-law so hopefully the planning and eveything will go well. How will this work? How about the color scheme; do we divide the hall into two separate sides with two themes??? Those are the things I've yet to find out.
One of the possible venue is the one by the lake. Tapi nak buat siang ka malam? Kalau siang baru nampak tasik, tapi panas nya tambah-tambah panas Perlis uishhh kalah panas padang pasir. Kalau malam buat outdoor tak nampak tasik pulak. Dilemma.
Last night, a girlfriend asked me to check out this other venue, facing the beach tapi seriously, beach kat Kuala Perlis? Bau kola, mood-killer kot. But I'll try to drop by the place when I go back to Perlis next weekend.
For the time being, am contemplating peach-cream with dark brown color scheme.
Things are moving slow...when do I get to try on the dream wedding dress??


