Letter to Future Son(s)/Daughter(s)

Dear future child(ren),

In less than 2 months, I will be married to your father, someone I have loved for quite a long time. I still do love him, with an increasing intensity with each passing day, and he still makes me blush and giggle like a schoolgirl.

We are both 25 years old this year, not rich, not broke either. Just enough to get by and enjoy the little pleasures life has to offer from time to time. Life is not that hard, we had it easier than our parents, that's for sure, but it's not a breeze all the time either.

Dreams, we have many of those, many of which have not materialized yet.

With the wedding inching closer, it's the inevitable to have people ask us about our plan in popping out mini us in the near future. To tell you the truth, I find the question terrifying. Like for instance, a colleague in office told us she is 3 months pregnant and the rest joked that I will be next. And I became defensive, to the point of near hyperventilating that I would exaggerate every single problem into a mountain.

Am I going to be able to go after all of my dreams after I have kids to tend to? What about the kids' father, is he going to miss out the baby's first smile, first word, first step? (As for now, both of us has agreed to live separately after marriage due to work obligation.) What about me; with the hormonal change and all, am I going to endure all that without someone holding my hair behind my neck while I puke over a the sink, cry and puke some more? What about my cravings, who's going to tend to that when my husband is going to be 4-hour drive away? Who is going to take care of the kids? Have you seen the video where the nanny kicked and stepped on the baby when it cries? I'm not putting my kids at such a risk, I'm going to hate myself. If I have to work, who's going to take the kids to museum after school, teach them about the world more than what the school can teach them, nurture their inquisitiveness? Am I going to have time to take them to the playground? Would they end up spending most of their waking time with the nanny than with me? Would they end up preferring to play Angry Birds on iPad than talk to me, or read books? Am I going to get fat with lots of cellulite? Am I going to get ugly? Would my husband find me ugly? What am I going to wear? Am I going to be able to endure the 9 months of such hormonal instability gracefully when having to deal with it a few days every month turns me into a time-bomb bitch ready to explode? Am I going to hate my husband's smell like some stories I've heard? Am I going to stay fat after the pregnancy? And then there's the childbirth itself. Natural labor, are you kidding me? This is someone who takes pain killer each month before I even get stomach cramps just so I don't have to feel it. If I did opt for Caesarian birth, I heard tending to the wound is hellish. Even giggling would cause great discomfort. And don't make me go into breastfeeding that's a whole another story. Would I actually have any idea on how to raise a child? I mean, I cut and bumped and bruised myself all the time from unfortunate miss of judgements, how can I make sure I don't hurt a child? Is now even the right time to raise a kid, I mean have you read the news, kids are being snatched off the streets all the time! Like just now, I forgot where I put my wallet, am I actually fit to be a mother? Are we going to be able to raise the kids in a comfortable life? How do one travel with little kids anyway, I mean can they actually go to Macchu Picchu, we haven't been to Macchu Picchu and I've always wanted to go to Macchu Picchu so bad! Would my in-laws and family hate me if we decided to wait a few years before having kids? If we did plan on waiting first, would God consider us ungrateful and not grant us any kids at all, like ever? What if we did have kids and it turned out we weren't ready? Would having kids change us into a different person?

All these rendered me paralyzed with fear sometimes.  

But the thing is, despite all that chaos in my head, I have this feeling that one day I am going to be a mother. And I am going to relish the role. Just that the feeling seems to be quite a distance from now.

So if you are old enough to read this, if there are times when I am being difficult like mothers tend to be, you should know that I went against all of my own arguments to go through something I am most terrified of; childbirth and being a mother. Do know that I love you with such ferocious tenacity, rivaling that of the fiercest lioness of the savannah. So don't be too difficult on me and your father, please.

Lots of love,
Me.

Searching for That Dream House

Having a roof over your head is one of the basic necessities in life; apart from food and the clothes on your back (not so much that three shirts you have in your wardrobe in 3 'different' shades of white). 

Rental in Kota Damansara is getting outrageous. A run-down old flat will cost you around RM700-800 per month. An extra RM400-700 per month will get you a well-kept apartment. A basic condo unit can fetch up to RM2000-2500. Then there's the high-end condos for which you have to be ready to fork up around RM4000 per month. A landed house..let's not go there. Yet. Mission impossible.

This sentiment is felt across the country actually, where price of houses is reaching an all-time high; without any sign of stopping soon. Some took this as a sign of a housing bubble; a situation in which the price is driven up by the speculation that the price is going to get even higher until at one point, due to lack of actual need in housing, the system will burst, leaving people with mortgages they cannot afford. Like what happened in the U.S. a few years back. Once it crashes, it went with a Bang, not a mere Pop.  

In the Netherlands, if a property is vacant for more than a year, it is not a crime to occupy it. This is to ward off investors buying property and keep it until the price has gone up profitable enough to resell. An opinion of my German language teacher is that the need we feel to own a house is hammered into us by our society, without much benefit to us. He argued, what's wrong with paying rent your whole life? But of course, this, coming from a man who paid cash for his Viva car. 

What caused the property prices to grow exponentially in the last 30 years? The answer would lie in the government's policy. Like always, the government would conjure (or lately, say) something up with the best of intention (or so I would like of believe) at its core, until the success of the system became its own monster. 

In the 60s, bank would only approve housing loan, 60% of the total amount, and the repayment would last at most for 10 years. Now one can expect to get a 90% financing which has become a standard practice for most banks, and recently with the My First Home Scheme (M1HS),  lending margin can reach up to 100%. Monthly repayment was reduced as the repayment period which was at 10 years in 1960 has been extended to 30 and sometimes up to 40 years now. See the inevitable booby trap?

Let's look into the M1HS. This scheme allows fresh graduates who have just started working with a monthly income of less than RM3000 and is younger than 35 years old to take out a 100% loan, for a property that is valued under RM300k. For joint applicants with income of less than RM6000 combined, they can apply for a 100% loan for a property valued to up to RM400k. This means, young working individuals do not have to worry over how to fork up the 10% down-payment, what with having to worry about wedding/hantaran and stuff. 

This situation has seen young generation flocking to take out home loan and shop for their dream house, or for investments. The question is, is it a wise decision?

In my humble opinion, it depends on how informed you are on your current situation. You need to know if you are going to be committed to being responsible in your monthly spending. You need to know the prospect of the area you're buying into; is there many ongoing development that will add value to the area, etc. You need to know the developer. The owner if it is a sub-sale. The current bank valuation of the property. You need to be prepared to do research on a lot of these.

But in the end, who knows for sure if the market is going to continue this steady rise in the next 10 years? What if the market crashes tomorrow? Nobody can tell you the answer, even the most expert in the industry. Only God knows that. 

But put it this way; if you buy a home, in 1 year you will have won a total of 15% equity in your property if you took out a 90% 30-year loan. And imagine this; if you rent, in a year you would have paid 5% of the landlord's mortgage. So generous, eh?

Helipad

We were driving past the road leading to the house I'm staying in. Honestly I didn't know how we ended up there, my humble national car must have felt pretty out of place sometimes sandwiched between a Mercedes and a Harrier and Swifts other whatnots in the parking lot. I hope my Viva doesn't have a car inferiority complex, because I couldn't care less about cars.

Along the road, any empty vast space left are being developed into residential units. There's this double-storey resort homes, with its own private pool. Then there's this luxurious condominium, its starting selling price is RM1 million. It gets one wondering what comes with a unit with a shared roof and floor at that price tag.  Deep burned curiosity alone is not enough to overcome the intimidation to actually enter the sales office and take a tour around the show unit.

An evening drive on that road if it's not congested makes you feel like you are on a holiday. Rain trees lined each side of the road. A sign board by the roadside across the road opposite the luxury condo caught our attention. It says: Helipad. Behind it an expansive area which we initially thought was a football field.

Wow. Just wow. Seriously, normal people need heli to move around these days? That's obnoxious but hey, if our Prime Minister gets to ride in one, whose to say no to other equally busy and mobile individual?

Fudhail joked that we could land our own heli there some time, albeit a battery-powered one. Yeah sure.

I'm not hating. Kalau la kita ditakdirkan sekaya itu, no telling what we might do. It could be worse. Maybe instead of a heli, it would be a heli fashioned to look like a unicorn. See. Told you it could be worse.

TT

We were in the process to look at houses to buy, as the house rent here is ridiculously high, we thought might as well we pay the same amount every month for us, instead of to pay off someone else's loan.

Last weekend, Arief, the mystery creature who only appears to the naked eyes once in a while whenever it pleases, who also happens to be my brother, decided to follow us to the viewing of the houses, since he is going to be living with me. Most of the time.

After we are done for the day we decided to go for dinner together. Left alone just the two of us, Fudhail off somewhere, the following conversation took place.

"Tadi tengok kakak dengan Fudhail buat belanjawan bulanan lepas kahwin, rasa sedih."

"Awat? Sebab kami sengkek ka? Hahaha."

"Taklah, sebab cepat sangat rasanya. Tu yang adik lari masuk bilik tu."

"TT."

'TT' wasn't a word, it was me crying. I cried in public. Got my mascara running down my eyes so that I look like a panda.

I told my mom and she said, "We're happy for you but we're both still adjusting."

"TT."

As much as a weirdo my family is, our love for each other in undeniable.

Wedding Planning

Yes, I have accepted the fact that the bride is not the only excited for the wedding. The entire family is. That's a good thing of course. Sharing the excitement also makes them prone to conjuring up ideas on the big day, which of course, might differ from the idea I have in mind.

So I have made clear the two 'sacred' things I'm not willing to compromise on. These things, come hell or high water (sounds creepy since the wedding would be near 'kola' as Perlisians called it), shall be present on the day, unless they are not meant to be by the bigger force of Heaven :

1) Unicorn carriage. I'd settle for a horse (a white horse with a horn attached to its forehead).
2) Rainbow sponge cake

Not that too much to ask for eh?

Some other details that I'm fond of:

1) Floss candy
2) Foosball table - We first bonded over a game of this; by the way I won on our first date!
3) Smarties / colorful jellies
4) Printed balloons
5) Live band
6) Soap bubble and paper confetti
7) Slideshows of our baby photos/video on solemnization

Why not throw in some elephant and trapeze swingers, since it looks like you're having a circus not a wedding?

Well, it can be a carnival-themed wedding, like Britney's Circus album. I think I prolly should do an inspiration board, to show to Ibu and mother-in-law.

I would be nice to have a laid-back not-too-formal wedding where we and our favorite people can have a good time at.

So the progress so far? Mr Groom has completed his form, so it's my turn to do it before we could get a signature of the Tok Imam. I'll share the details in another post. Mana tau boleh buat rujukan masa hadapan.

Blood test. Oh man..susah gila nak buat kat area sini. 3 minggu prior kena buat appointment tau!

Photographer/videographer confirmed. Called the guy the other day (he's really cool btw), cakap nak tambah macam-macam daripada package asal, nak outdoor photoshoot 2 kali la, nak tambah lagi satu clip extra untuk tayang time wedding la, tapi still dapat harga yang sama yayy me!

Baju nikah dah beli! Beli yang biasa-biasa aja, nak meng-Vera-Wang tak mampu. Baju yang beli ni kaler putih, mode style, retro habis ah. Planning nak tambah beading sendiri nanti. Puiii macam la sempat. Baju pengantin lelakiku nak tempah weekend ni.

Rumah masih lagi menyopping. Yang susah sebab ada limited budget. Scratch that. Very limited budget. On top of that, memilih pulak tu. Yang apartment/rumah teres biasa-biasa takmau hehe. Tapi in all seriousness, we are looking for a well-maintained condos like the one I'm renting now because of the tight security since I would be living alone most of the time kan. Baru-baru ni ada kes perempuan kena kelar leher dekat apartment dekat-dekat sini! Scary, ya Allah minta dijauhkan! Kalau tak sebab memilih walhal budget limited, dah lama dah beli, banyak kot yang berkenan. Rumah dekat area Kota Damansara ni harga dah shoot through the roof dah, sebab dah confirm nak buat MRT. Oh man, kalau ada duit, it would be a very god investment to buy in this area.

Make-up artist dah janji dengan a good friend in Kulim nanti dia nak bawakkan jumpa officemate dia ada kedai.

Apa lagi? Lah. Baru tu ja. Banyak lagi ni tak siapppp! Hantaran belum beli! Ibu dah pesan jangan beli kasut, dia tak gemar nak kena letak atas dulang semua I can't understand the logic pfffft.

Off to work now, bye!